Change of site..

Thanks for all the support and love youve given me so far guys, it gives me the inspiration and encouragement to keep writing..I'm switching over to another site, hope you guys would still show all the encouragement that you've been giving me here...
http://www.montybandial.wordpress.com

Life is a highway...

The ground beneath his feet...

I have never really understood the concept behind 'judging' people or being 'judged' until today. Previously, whenever someone would say 'You're not going to judge me because of this, are you?' or something to that effect, I'd just nod or shake my head and hope that it would be the proper response.
Now, wait, hold on, before you strap that straight jacket on me and lock me in a padded room, atleast hear me out. I DO know what it means, but is'nt it kinda redundant? Or as Justin Seigel would say, ridonculous..one can't help NOT judge a person whenever they are witness to some action. Right? Turns out, the reality is never that simple and straightforward...but we'll get to that later.
So, anyway, I'm sitting in my favorite rickety old plastic chair at RS-yep, the romantic spot-, enjoying my hot plate of lentil curry and roti when I feel these eyes on me. Have you noticed how one can tell if somebody is staring at you and involuntarily you turn and look at them? So i look up and see this guy, about my age, in shalwar kameez that have seen better days and sandals that are almost run down to the bone. He doesn't look away when I catch him staring, and neither do I, for a while.
Finally, I cave and grin and give him the 'how-you-doin' head shake. He gives me the 'not-bad-how-about-yourself' shrug, and we both go back to our activities.At that moment, I finally realized what it feels like to be judged.
 And it was awful, i tell you.
 Maybe it was my office clothes and shoes that were making me stick out like a sore thumb amongst the rest of the customers of RS, almost exclusively labor class, drivers and bus conductors. Maybe it was due to my cuff links-I'm not a cuff link kinda guy, its just that I had been putting off doing my laundry for a while and I'd finally run out of clean shirts so that I had to wear one which didn't have buttons at the cuff, so sue me!- I don't know, but the whole experience of being judged made me re-assess a notion that has been circling the drain inside my head for a while now, refusing to be flushed away..But first some background as to why I had been feeling so vulnerable to judgments recently.
Last night I went out with my friend Moss and his brother after tennis. We decided to have some roll parathas from Jinnah Super Market-there's an amazing roll paratha stand,stall,whatever, just at the entrance to the market infront of the paan shop, its AMAZING, waayy better than the ones inside the 'gol market'- so after we had finished, I got out to throw away the wrappers. I have this habit of pretending to be Micheal Jordan whenever I see a trash can. I attempted a buzzer-beating three pointer from a couple of feet. It was a perfectly balanced throw and it was going to be 'nothing-but-the-net' had not this pathan boy walked in to the trajectory of my ballistic air missile.
I obviously didn't mean to hit him, but the boy looked at me as if I had done it intentionally, and the snickers from my friends and my appearance didn't help either. He looked me up and down while I apologized, albeit laughingly, and in retrospect, I'll be the first to admit, I did not make a convincing picture of remorse in my Air Jordans, and Puma windcheater and shorts. But I honestly did not mean to ridicule or humiliate him. However, I am pretty sure the pathan boy was not convinced of my sincerity and I'm afraid I had just verified all his pre-conceived notions about the them-versus-us divide.
That incident had been disturbing me all day, and I wondered if such little misinterpretations could build walls between people that would ultimately block out any sort of meaningful communication. And then this staring contest at RS happened, and the whole thing finally came full circle in my mind, or so I think.
We all judge.
We all make assumptions.
We don't bother to put ourselves in the other's place and think according to what they see. Instead we believe that there can only be just one way of looking at things, our way. And this is where we go wrong. And its not about class divide or privileged versus the under privileged. Its common all over. Let me try to explain.
When we look down upon those less privileged than us, we tend to feel sorry for them, because we feel that they are not happy and are missing out. I believe that happiness comes when one's basic needs, such as shelter, nutrition,love etc are met. They don't have to be a fancy five star location, a beds a beds a bed. So as long as one has those needs met, one can be happy. Everything else are just add-ons. They don't contribute directly to happiness or satisfaction, except to very shallow minds who can never have enough anyway.
This is why, it never made sense in my mind when somebody looked at street children playing in the rain and said 'aww poor kids, they don't even have video games or cool gadgets to play with'-nobody actually said exactly that, but you get my drift- and I wouldn't agree with them. Because I argued that they never had those things in the first place, so they don't miss them. For them happiness does not have a price tag.
Consider this, if Bill Gates were to look at me, would he feel sorry for me because I'm under-privileged and not happy since I don't have access to all the goodies he has?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all need to come out of our comfort zones and our pre-determined mind sets and try to look at people and situations neutrally, if possible, from the perspective of the other person. And more often than not, the picture changes completely. That guy at RS judged me because of my appearance, and he made a judgment based on that. And its not his fault, we've all done that. I just wish that we would stop. And i hope i meet that pathan boy again to show that my three pointers really are not that bad, and neither am I..until then I'm going to keep eating paratha rolls, hoping for him to show up..preferably without a vest:p 

Too often we are scared...

I found this from an old Nike campaign when i was preparing for my O levels and ever since I've found this very inspirational, no matter what the situation..

Too often we are scared.

Too often we are scared.
Scared of what we might not be able to do.
Scared of what people might think if we tried.
We let our fears stand in the way of our hopes.
We say no when we want to say yes.
We sit quietly when we want to scream.
And we shout at others, when we should keep our mouths shut.

Why?

After all, we do only go around once.
There’s really no time to be afraid.

So stop.

Try something you’ve never tried. Risk it.
Enter a triathlon.
Write a letter to the editor. Demand a raise.
Call winners at the toughest court. Throw away your television.
Bicycle across the world.
Try bobsledding.

Try anything!

Speak out against the designated hitter.
Travel to a country where you don’t speak the language.
Patent something.

Call her.
You have nothing to lose and everything everything everything to gain.

A Change's gonna come...

I don't follow weather updates or follow any channels, so I've still been living in my winter season mode, inspite of what anyone else says. As far as I'm concerned it still makes pretty good sense to keep my trusty heater burning, while I doze infront of it, munching a cold slice of pizza, watching a sub par Man U notch up another win, thats living the dream is'nt it?
But yeah so anyway, as I was saying, I believe that there's more to seasons than what you hear on the news or around you. I think everyone one of us has an internal weather clock that lets us know that its time to put those threadbare lower and trusty sweater back in the closet. Maybe mine is lagging, I don't know and I didnt really care, heyy it works for me...most of the time. But i now know atleast that its still working.
Sundays are the WORST day of the week, no seriously. We heap too much blame on Monday, but he's just doing his job maan, he's a weekday, but what about the no-good double crossing Sunday? Its supposed to be part of the weekend, but it feels awful, even worse than a normal weekday. You wake up and your stomachs knotted up to the size of a damn ping pong ball, and you wonder how the hell did those two days go by so fast?
My whole Sunday goes EXACTLY the way 'Fool's Garden' paint the picture of in their song Lemon Tree. And I'm not a really big fan of Bruno-jumping over a grenade-Mars but the dude's got it absa-f$^&*$-lutely spot on with his 'Lazy Day'. Sooo..yeaahh..you get the picture of where I'm coming from. I don't want to get up, meet anyone, go out, I just want to stay inside, renew my vows with my bed, and do nothing.
But the thing about change is, it always comes when you've finally reconciled yourself to the status quo. My internal weather clock finally chimed! Its still working babyyy..On a Sunday, of all days...
I just felt that it was time for a change. I got up and actually left my bed, decided to de-freeze my fridge-something that I'd been putting off for almost 6 months now. Old Betsy, thats my fridge, well actually not mine, its Meme's and she brought it with her when she married Abba, but it might as well be mine because its been with me ever since I've left home and went to college and then got a job and started living on my own.
So, anyway, the thing about Betsy is that she may be old, but she can still freeze the crap outta anything. Infact, she is so good that the freezer part of the fridge gets all frozen solid pretty fast. And I'd been putting off   pulling the plug on Betsy because I reasoned that I don't really need the freezer part so far, its still winters, and I'll do it some other time etc .
But today, when i woke up, and I heard Betsy creaking and groaning in the stillness of the afternoon-so i woke up late, big deal:P- i knew it was time for a change. I pulled the plug on Old Betsy, took out all the leftovers I had been storing inside, for you know, a rainy day, or when World War 3 breaks out and theres no time to stock up on food, showered and went out for a stroll. Because I did not feel like watching Bets cry.
It was amazing, Islamabad is a beautiful city, call it dead or whatever, but its made for walking. And as I walked all over Atta Turk avenue, stopping finally for my late lunch at my regular post-office stop-over- 'the romantic spot'. Me and Adnan came up with that name one day because it really is a beautiful location that only needs some sound investment. Its a very rough cul-de-sac of sorts overlooking a gorgeous creek that flows with fresh water all year round. And its a side road thats perpendicular to the Aabpara road, so theres very little traffic as such, and theres a park infront and one can sit under the trees and enjoy some excellent fried lentils and a hot cup of tea. And the view is breathtaking, even more so on rainy/cloudy days, which in Islamabad is like every other days, so yeahh pretty romantic. But ironically, the only romance that happens there is the platonic type, i really hope so, because RS-romantic spot- is frequented by taxi drivers, flying coach, bus, rickshaw,motorcycle drivers, the occasional students living in the youth hostel nearby, and me. I've always felt that the place gives me great inspiration in my life, and some of my best ideas for stuff to write have come while sitting in their one-load-away-from-breaking-apart plastic chairs. The owners, for their part, now treat me almost as a part of their family, they always bring out their one actual glass glass ,other customers just get the usual plastic glasses. And they always put extra frothing over my tea, which I can't really drink, but I don't want to break their hearts.
After I'd had my lunch-mixed vegetables, they were out of lentils which are my favorite-as I was walking back to my room, I finally realized, winters are over, there was spring everywhere. And I don't mean the trees and plants, but in people and even animals and birds. You can tell by how people walk and gesture if they're still in their brooding- winter mode or are starting afresh. Birds too, especially crows are  really mean spirited most of the time but come spring, and they even look adorable-well almost- as they splash around in puddles and have actual water fights with the sparrows and any other bird that tries to take over their water hole.
When I came back to my room, Betsy was dripping all over the carpet and I had to hurriedly place some newspapers and cloth rags to soak up the water. Behind the melting ice, I found the Hersheys Kiss box, my Valentine cum good luck gift from last year that I had been keeping for, well, I just could'nt bring myself around to finishing them..hehe..but me and Betsy are starting over afresh, spring is finally here.
And as I put away my winter clothes inside the closet and write this infront of  the heater-ok lets not get carried away with the spring mania, we're taking baby steps- Man City is about to draw against Swansea and Man U will leapfrog its city rival finally, if that is'nt a sign I don't know what is..go Red Devils!

The man called Noon...

Sherry Sherry..heheh that NEVER failed to crack you up, remember?
Ok, so i have been meaning doing to do this for a while now. But how do you say good bye to someone you have'nt even gotten over saying hello to, you know what i mean?
How does one, i still cant fathom the words for what i want to say-the mere thought is so unbelievable- and yet, there is no escaping it anymore...How does one bid farewell to somebody they literally carried in their arms?
 But i guess, that, is the essence of life, blink and you miss it.
They say that your life flashes before your eyes before you are about die.
I have always treated that with a fair sprinkling of salt and skepticism. But just this once, i would like, with all my heart to believe that 'old-wives tale'.
I hope you did see all your life sherry, because i would like to believe that i was in it, maybe for a few brief split seconds. But you gotta agree, man were those seconds great, right?
I may not have been there at the end- yes im still pissed off at you for leaving without a formal goodbye, us seniors get some priority after all:P-but i was definitely there at the beginning..You used to get exasperated of the countless times i used to remind you about how i used to give you rides on my cycle when i couldnt even ride it myself..How i taught you all the cool things i used to learn? Shooting competitions with my Daisy BB gun, boxing matches, cricket matches, football matches..i was tough on you but you never backed down man...
And before i knew it, you were the one teaching me stuff. Like the time you made me drive my foxy all the way from LUMS to your house without stopping, because i hadnt as yet learned how to stop the car once id started:P
And how about that time i got into a fight during the soccer match at LUMS and in the wild melee that followed i found you and Taaz also throwing punches:P I didnt even know you were there...
You were the ultimate 'playa' and we used to make fun of you for it..'shahrukh' ..'chandu'..'nauman puttar'..i still cant believe how little you were when you managed saadia's shadi while i was away..all the driving..the dances, the arrangements...you were our family's go-to-guy!!!
Hehe you used to hit on girls bigger than you in LUMS and i used to be in awe of you! And how about our late night drives and movies and talks and just hanging out? Now who do you expect me to do all that with?
You were going to teach me so much more man, i was still being the macho self to tell you how much i love you. I know that you knew that i did, but still, im still mad at you for this ..once again you have left us all speechless with just how wonderful you were, and stupid for not appreciating you enough.
But enough of the crying and nostalgia! This ones for my brother, the Shaheed..lets celebrate your glory just the way you lived your life, with a BIG smile and an even bigger heart...
Do look down upon us from time to time jigger, it gets kinda gloomy at times and i could use your company. You have left big boots to fill brother, pray that i live up to be worthy enough of being your cousin...and big brother...

De ghumma ke: De Ghumma ke

De ghumma ke: De Ghumma ke: The boy can barely contain himself.  His heart is pumping overtime, beating a loud staccato, that the boy is sure, can be heard  by anoyone...